Grieving loss of Past Relationship 

Date: 1999, Jun 15
From: Carla MacGregor carla

This is probably one of the most emotional aspects of caring for older adults. As caregivers we need to recognize that we are actively in a process of grief even when the older adult is alive. My mother first recognized my grandmother's age and loss of some independence when she came for a visit and didn't actively participate in the day to day routine of our family. It was just a peek into the physical decline she was experiencing. As time went on she was less involved in other aspects of the relationship and was no longer able to be there for the emotional support my mom had come to rely on. In its place, however my mother and grandmother continued to be close and to share other things. Sometimes it was more about just sitting quietly together. The relationship with your grandmother sounds as if it has been very supportive and a foundation for your life now. Try to find things to do with your grandmother that doesn't require as much active interaction which may be emotionally difficult or physically draining. Try going on a drive, or visiting a park. Hope this helps. Carla MacGregor, MSW