What would you have done.....??? Sorry it is long... 

Date: 1999, Dec 09
From: <carolina@ravencroft.com>

My dad is in a nursing home and when I went to see him for Thanksgiving he pulled me to the side and wanted me to buy some diamond earrings for a nurse aide. He knew my sister would not do this but he thought I would. He was going to have me send them to her home address as soon as he got it. I figured she would not give it so I did not concern myself about it. A week later over the phone he says he has the address for me to send the earrings to! Now... he only gets a small allowance a month for his necessities, if any of us where millionaires I'd say buy them all diamonds!:) I explained to him in the next phone call after thinking about it, the ethics involved and that it was not appropreiate... that we could send flowers or candy to the nursing station for everyone... etc. for about 45 minutes. I thought he understood, but ended the conversation by saying... I'll just give her the money and she can get what she wants! Well I pondered this abit more and felt I should call and talk to the NH manager who has known the family all of our lives. He understood completely... this was not the first time Dad wanted to give a gift to "one" girl... so he asked if I wanted him to talk to Dad to back up what I said.  I was not trying to get another fired... the girls should have known better than to give out their addy's. They should know that most people in there do not have alot of money and it did put all of us in a bad spot. And Dad needed to try to understand that if it was not something you could do openly, then it was not the best thing to do. I have been an CNA, as my Mom and my sister... I would not have taken anything nor givien my addy, but not all feel that way. And... they the staff, does become their family... they see them more than their own family... so I understand. Anyways... Dad called... madder than "h___"! I have betrayed his trust.... he is leaving there just as soon as he can walk on his new legs... etc". I feel I did the right thing... yet at the moment it does not feel very "right". I do not live in town where Dad is, I am almost 1000 miles away, so it is not like I can be there every day and see what is happening. What would you have done??