how to help friend w/out close loved ones? 

Date: 2001, Apr 29
From: <ptkrause@wimberley-tx.com>

my husband and i met june 3 yrs ago. we lived in the same neighborhood. i'm 33,my husband 64 and june is 80. i have loved her from the begining. meeting her was like meeting a relative. we moved to a small town 6 mths after meeting june. she then sold her home and moved to an assisted living home. we kept in close contact,i tried to get her to move up here then. the assisted living didn't last long. she was hospitalized w/heart problems and diabetes. she has needed nursing home care since. we went to the city and got her dog when it was plain she wasn't going to be able to care for him for a while. june finally moved up here a month ago. not having had in person contact w/her these past 2yrs it's taken this past month for me to get a better idea of her mental and physical state. my question is since i am not a relative what is appropriate action and caregiving for her? she has been a bit confused,seeing things that aren't there,she's having more difficulty seperating her dreams from reality. then other times she seems sharp as a tack. this can all happen in a visit so i don't know if it's meds or nature. her body is getting weaker also. we are literally her closest loved ones. her stepdaughter is nice but has little contact and admits she has no real bond with june on her part. i don't want my friend to get less out of life because she doesn't have close relatives,but how do i help without seeming overly nosey. i've had relatives in the past that started suffering from dementia that became very distrustful of people and even loved ones. so any advice would be appreciated,this is just a situation i never predicted i would come up against and so am not prepared. also any hints on cleaning her hair w/out having to use much water?